Fetishes

 

Fetish’s are funny things, mostly associated with sexual connotations but let’s be a bit more broad minded here shall we? They stem  from the most simple of things to the uber bizarre! Just the other day I was talking to a friend who suddenly said to me “Come with me to the loo, I need to wash my hands with toothpaste” ???!!!! Yeah that’s exactly how I imagine I looked at that point. So I follow her just to observe this uncanny ritual. Well nothing completely mind boggling to it, it just looked like an ordinary hand wash, only she squeezed out a pea sized dollop of toothpaste onto her palm and continued to wash her hands. Sniffing her hands later and appearing to be very satisfied! Seeing my relatively perplexed expression she obliged and went onto say that she didn’t like the smell of food on her hands and insisted that toothpaste took away any residual odour off human skin! It’s true, tried and tested. Try it for yourself and see.

 

I have a huge fetish for fragrances and good smells. Which means smelling good all the time is important to me, as are the places I traverse and hang out at. People who know me, know! I find it confidence boosting and it keeps my spirits lifted at all times. Especially when you’re in a field of work that involves meeting so many new people everyday. The last thing you want is to appear shabby & unkempt. That and basic hygiene. On a different league, the way a place smells can either perk my mood or downright destroy it. The loo at Cinnamon Grand has an amazing fragrance of Cinnamon, I think it comes off an oil burner or some exotic air freshner. All I can say is that it’s lovely and soothing. The smell of fresh bed sheets, the just showered soapy smell, the smell of freshly washed linen/clothes, tasteful perfume, Coffee and the smell of fresh baking are head turners for me.

 

A couple of other popular fetishes seem to be nice hair, feet and hands. Most men like women to have well kept hands & feet. Well kept doesnt necessarily mean perfectly manicured (Though I’m sure none of you guys would complain) but rather well maintained, clean and buffed. I know guys who remind their girlfriends that it’s time for a manicure/pedicure!!! As long as it’s said good naturedly it’s all good. Otherwise, well good luck getting back into her good books! Long haired damsels seemed to be the cream of the crop a couple of centuries ago. A long good head of healthy black hair was considered to be an asset, if not a prerequisite for all women during the pre-colonial era. You’d most likely see a woman in a mini skirt rather than one not having an elborate hairdo involving lengths upon length of jet black hair. Cutting it  off was out of the question and permission had to be sought more often than not by the husband or father. Bizarre but pretty real.

 

So what’s your fetish?

Vices

• Perfume
• Coffee
• Chocolate fudge
• Perfume
• Rainy Days in doors
• Shoes, Slippers – any kind of foot wear
• Gadgets – Anything from a mobile phone to laptop accesories to desk lamps!
• White Gold and Diamond/ Rhinestone and Silver rings
• Earth/Neutral coloured nail varnish & French Manicures
• Perfect hair – I try,hard.
• Khaki Skirts – Perfect for the beach

Work – Life balance

Is a subject that seems to be the rage these days. A term more commonly used in the States but has since of late found it’s own following (victims?) right here in paradise. Particularly amongst the younger segment of corporate society. Theoretically you can find a broad definition here.

Just a couple of months back a friend of mine who was perfectly well suffered a massive stroke. One that left him virtually crippled for a few good months, minus speech, movement and any such way to express himself. He was just 26. A seemingly normal, good natured guy overnight became a vegetable. Hope was faint everytime we heard news of him. Comatose, unresponsive and feeble. Gradually, by some miracle (and I won’t hesitate to state so) and countless hours of Doctors working on him later, he started to improve. He was a friendly face, practically everyone liked him. Late hours daily in office were no stranger to him than the sun setting in the West.

I won’t elaborate further on this story but rather, how far do we push ourselves for corporate success? Sure, we all would love to drive oour own shiny car and have the wherewithall to do whatever we please whenever we pleased. From another point of view if you’re eyeing that promotion purely for rational reasons like a bit of extra cash around the house, maybe spend on your childs education or you want to save up for a rainy day, it all makes sense that you seem married to your work. At times the motive for success can be so blinding that we forget to live life. Life with family and loved ones, life that involves physical and mental well being, spirituality & society amongst other things.

I’m no martyr. I’ve been caught in this tangled web and the unnerving part is that you don’t realise you’re caught in it. Routine becomes so normal that anything interferring sets you off. There have been days where a simple thing like the strap of my gym bag coming off or getting caught in the rain has virtually left me sobbing big fat tears in the confines of my car! Stress? Oh yeah! plenty…and we all know how dimunitive stress can be on both your work and personal life, leaving you pretty much back at square one. It’s a vicious cyle.

All that being said and done, where do we draw the line?

Had a bad day?

Day 1 -  Late evening

Thurday had me on my way to the hill capital for a conference, and like the title says it was a bad day! My car stalled on me, the battery flickered and was gone. Before I could say ‘Jiminy cricket’ my clutch plate gave way and I was left in the lurch, uphill. Imagine losing your clutch up a steep hill, your battery dying on you and you find yourself in a car that is increasingly gaining momentum and sliding downhill…backwards. Yup, that was me…or rather the unfortunate situation I was in. I’ll ever be thankful to my Ex. Who’s ingrained in me certain car related reflexes when in compromising situations. Luckily, I didn’t end up looking like a bimbo, smack bang in the middle of the road, blocking traffic, having cars honk at me for my idiocy or worse, crashing downhill and ramming into something or someone. I was annoyed! But did what any sane person would do. Slowly eased my car to the side of the road, put the hazards on in the process, locked all the doors and called my friends at the hotel to come rescue me. Called the folks up and told them that everything was A-ok ( Saw no point in getting them all panic-stricken, my dad in particular who’s not too fond of my constant travelling and my job!) So until my friends got there, I sat and listened to some music, browsed Kottu and twittered.

Day 1 – Late night

I’m dependant on technology. It’s official. Shortly after my car disaster, I amble my way up to the room and am pleasantly surprised to see that they have Wifi and LAN access. Thinking this day wasn’t so bad after all I happily switch on my laptop and wait…No connectivity!!!

Day 2

The day of the conference and my laptop freezes on me, leaving me in a conference room with Wifi and LAN connectivity and a machine that refused to let me log in to not just my personal profile on Windows, but to any profile for that matter with the exception of administrator! Needless to say, my denial on not being a techno-dependant junkie was vamooshed! My presentation was on it, I had a meeting room full of colleagues waiting for me to present and I had to make do with hard copies. God knows I’m grateful for the age old practice of taking a set of printouts with me before I go anywhere. Never forget the basics I tell ya!

The only consolation I had was my room which had an amazing view off the balcony. I spent quite a bit of time seated on the chairs and sipping coffee. Being the only girl on an all male team means you get a lot of time by yourself and the best of pampering and comfort. So this time around again, no one said anything when I quietly retreated after about an hours socialising back to the solitude of my room and the gorgeous view of the city. The staff at the hotel were exceptionally nice and set up my dinner on the balcony by candle light. It was a bit lonely, I’ll admit, but at least it was beautiful and the view more than compensated.

Back in Colombo now, I still yearn for those hills though perhaps with company. Ah well, I’ll be back in about a months time.

The girl in the mirror

When life throws me a curveball

I’ve learnt how to dodge

I’ve picked myself up countless times

Before standing up for battle again

I’ve dismissed inner demons

Playing havoc inside my head

Replacing with determination

A will to go on

Seek better

Do better

To will inside me

The same passion with which I lived

The same depth with which I gave

A hundred rivers of life

Surging with a life force of current

Tender as a butterfly’s wing

Frivolous as a maiden in a spice shop

Beautiful. Gentle.Deep.

Me

Undisputed.Unchanged.

Unscathed.

The cordial enemy

So about 2 weeks back a subordinate of mine was ill and in hospital with raging pneumonia. He’s one of the best we have and carried out an entire series of activity all by himself very recently. Firing a call was all that I had to do to be in touch and check on progress. We’ve always been cordial to each other, but cordial was as far as it went. He’d do his work and make sure his duties were done but it was always work to rule. There was no going out of the way to get things done. Nothing of that sort. He was courteous enough but showed resistance in his own way since I was new to the role. I couldn’t really complain, work was getting done albeit a tad stiff.

 I knew he was sick after the activity ended but never knew how sick he was. I gave him a week off and by the second week when things were not sounding too good, packed him off to hospital and a few tests later, his condition was revealed. He has no family, this man. No one to wait on him, see to his needs, speak to doctors. He’s not married and his parents have passed. I was told that a friend of his had been kind enough to drop in and stay with him a few days but by his 3rd week in hospital, his friend had to leave and his visits were sporadic. Some distant Aunt had come and stayed with him on and off and brought some home cooked food. I went to see him once on my way home. He was recovering but not in the best of senses and I could tell that he recognised me but that it didn’t really register. His friend was back by his side. I exchanged a few brief words with him and he slipped back to sleep. Things were under control it seemed. I liked his friend. He seemed a good sort.

Today, 2 weeks later, he’s back at work. Taking it slow but back. Ill health hasn’t dampened his sprits. He called me up and thanked me for visiting, apologising profusely for not being able to speak much that day. He discreetly mentioned that I had been the only person from work to have visited and kept tabs on his health, but never being the person to complain, he let it slide with an air of nonchalance. Brushing it off saying the others might have been busy with work and that he understood. He used to be a good employee, quick and efficient in his work, now however, he’s even better. His demeanor has improved and working with him has become quite literally a breeze for me. Figures I need are given under the stipulated time, info is given just as soon as requested! Sitting here typing this, I’m still amazed that 3 huge documents that I needed done in a few days have actually been done in a couple of hours, mailed and followed up with. I’m staring at it right now!

I’m welcoming this change. It’s a breath of fresh air for sure.

Gym Socks 2

So my last post on Gym Socks was that they should be white and all that. I still vehemently stand by it!

However, since of late I’ve noticed one particular guy wearing dark coloured socks…Red with white stripes and Grey with white stripes. Not so bad after all.

I need to get over this sock fetish!