A letter to my 16 year old self

Thanks Sabby for the tag. Here goes.

Dear 16 year old Cadence

Hey you. You might be sceptical getting a letter from your future self. Realist that you are. Curious about how life turns out for you the next few years? Well, you’ll always be the average girl. Average in school work, sports and pretty much everything you do. Your younger sister will always outshine you, have a better report card, nicer hair and a better figure. You will only surpass her in Literature. Here my dear, you will excel. You will have our parents opposing you at every turn. At 17 you will work up the guts to throw a tantrum and say you want to be part of the cast in the Inter-School Annual Shakespeare Drama competition. You won’t get permission until 11pm the day before the final day of auditions.Our school wins the competition that year and you feel your first real rush of accomplishment and exhilaration. Our parents will realise your forte in Literature the day you write and direct your own drama and win a competition in school.

Along the way you’ll develop a certain complication that ends up with you taking large doses of steroids for an extended period of time. You’ll gain weight. ALOT. You’ll be depressed, become anti-social, avoid public gatherings, not be able to find clothes or shoe sizes that fit and pretty much live an adolescent nightmare. Nevertheless you get through it. The gym you sign up at won’t do you much good either so don’t bother. I’ll ease your mind though, you lose the weight through sheer perseverence. 20 whole kilos of it! You’ll gain another 7 more and struggle with it at my age indefinitely (I’ll let you know how that works out later on)

School for you will be very focussed. You’ll always be the kid that people borrow books from to copy notes. You’ll make short notes before exams and your teachers will like you. Clearly you’re not a big trouble maker. You’ll be decently popular in school, people will know and appreciate you for the person you are. Be proud of that. You never were one to bother with impressing people and you’ll continue to be that way even at my age.

 You won’t get to do English Literature for your A Levels. Our parents refused to sign the admission slip so don’t bother with trying to change their minds. Don’t fret either, you did ok. You end up choosing a field that your father thought was good for you, and guess what? You chose well. Guess parents are right after all. However, I’m warning you that you get so engrossed in your field a couple of years down the line that you have them at our or rather my throat for never being at home and being too involved. You’ll take to the corporate life like a fish does to water.

Boyfriends. Oh boy! You certainly don’t have a stero type do you? You have 2 boyfriends, or should I say exes? At 20 you go out with a bad boy of sorts. Tall, dark, handsome and with a pony tail! He’s everything that you’re not and it’ll be the most interesting year of your life! Differences make you part but he’ll always remain a good friend. In fact he just texted me now. The other you meet somewhere down the line of 21-22. This guy is everything your first BF wasn’t. Your parents love him, you think you do until you realise that you were just in a comfort zone. Sure you have your heart broken but 8 months down the line you’ll be ok.

Your friends in school will change. Your Tom boy best friend will get married, have a baby and move across the oceans. The others will become acquaintances and will let you down when the going gets tough…. but it’s not the end of the world, you meet some pretty awesome people you relate to and you learn to take things in your stride.

At my age you still don’t like the taste of alcohol. Maybe except for Pina-Coladas and a dash of Apple Twist. However, a trip to Nuwaraeliya in March 2009 will leave you so positively drunk that you won’t remember 30% of it! Well, until you see the photographs atleast! Yeah, you were living your “I’ll try anything once” declaration. You also went on to try raw fish and it was pretty cool. The jet-skiing is yet to come!

Your relationship with your sister never gets any closer than cordial, your mother becomes your confidante to a certain extent but you also adopt a “what they don’t know won’t hurt them” policy and sort out most of your life on your own. You’re a very independant woman and your friends tell you that you’re wiser than your years…but there will be times when you feel quite the contrary, so don’t get ahead of yourself. With independance comes a sense of isolation that you crave. Our family may not understand the need for this all the time and may think you’re shutting them out of your life. Don’t worry, it’s just you having a little me time. You also turn out to be this super responsible, in control person to the family. Keep it that way. Shaky times will ensue where they need you most.

I’m not going to tell you what to do and what not to do, because, personally I don’t think you’d want it any other way. You are exactly who you are today because of every decision and choice that has moulded you into yourself. You did okay kiddo. Now quit it already with the heightist complex and relax.

Enjoy the ride.

Love Cadence at 20 something

Tagged -Gehan, Chavie

Putting them all on…paper?

1.The weekends almost over. Going on the last few dregs. A good weekend gone by.

2. Part of it was marred by a friend’s father passing away.

3. I’m a sucker for good perfume.

4. I have a divine off white over-night bag by Burberry that I’m too parsimonious to use. Simply put I’m stingy with it.

5. I’ve sort of lost part of my waistline. Well it’s not as defined as it used to be. Time to step up on the diet. Workouts are pretty grueling so won’t be making any changes there. If I do anymore I will die.

6. I’ve mastered the French manicure, much to the envy of many friends!

7. I finally found turquoise rubber slippers and honed in on them like Cruella de Vil did on those lil Dalmatian pups.

8. Bought myself a cute white satin slip and black night robe. Always wanted a white.

9. Finished reading a book in 2 days. Haven’t done that in a while. Sophie Kinsella is a vivid story teller! Recent discovery.

10. Almost got busted by bro –in-law to be who happens to be a real jackass, on a night out about town.

11. Cut my hair short about 2 weeks ago. Now I have a head full of flicks and curls as opposed to the sleek straight look I sported for almost 5 years.

12. I MISS MY LONG STRAIGHT HAIR!

13. Had a change in job role and I’m loving it!

14. Flats beat heels any day.

15. Heading to Kandy on some work tomorrow and I’m looking forward to it. The rainy season’s here and the weather is glorious.

Have a super week all!

Warm, cheery and comforting. Convenience was just a bonus!

So my next-door-work-mate is leaving to another company. That means I’m left minus an  immediate lunch and coffee buddy. I immediately sprung to action.

Now coffee at the workplace (Tea is available too!) is a quick pop in and out with a munch on the way sorta thing. You don’t really rally a huge crowd to get your choice of beverage. Now with her leaving, I’m not too fond of sipping my java alone…and neither could I bother with stressing whom to pop down in future with.  So, I promptly went to Arpico and bought my self a coffee mate, a bottle to store some sugar in and stashed them in a large plastic box that used to be my cereal box at work. I already had a bottle of Nescafe classic gifted to me by a friend and they just fit in fine!

Snug in a tub!

Next to my collection of beverages was this! Oh boy! This is just a perfect concotion of spices in a mug! I love ginger tea and the tea bags make it that much easier to have when at work where you don’t really have the time or facility to crush fresh ginger and put it into a pot and let it boil up.

Dilmah Ginger tea

I also went and bought myself a plastic tea spoon. It clashes horribly with my canary yellow mug but I wasn’t really thinking colour co-ordination when I went beverage shopping!

Pink & Yellow

So I’m all set with my beverages. I can have it at my convenience. A quick fix to rustle up whilst going about work, and I can have it without the need to socialise with people just for the sake of a cuppa.

Cheers!

 

I’ve realised;

1. You can’t change who you are, not entirely. You can only condition your mind to do things, willingly and sometime not so willingly.
2. The sky will always be blue, the sun will always rise from the east and parents will continue to drive you out of your mind until you want to shut yourself in a vacuum and block the infernal noise out. But you still love them, even though you don’t show it as often as they’d like you to.
3. Change is the only constant and you will always be challenged and put to the test regardless of how committed and devoted you are.
4. Chauvinism does exist at workplaces and that you can very well be a victim.
5. Being tough and putting your foot down so that you’re not down trodden can cost you friends.
6. I can never change my dad or his temperament and that we will always have disagreements and differences of opinions till the end of our days.
7. The song “Butterfly Kisses” will make me cry on my wedding day when I dance with my father
8. Sitting in a petrol queue for 2 hours can be very relaxing
9. A movie will never live up to the book
10. You do eventually move on and that in your face fact helps
11. It’s ok to have a vice and indulge once in a while, but not let it get out of hand
12. As you grow older, you stop believing in fairytales and start basing your theories on cold hard evidence
13. Sometimes it’s ok to bend the rules but never to over step your boundaries
14. There is at least one thing in your life that you wish you could undo
15. You’re never too young and it’s never too late to learn, live or love

Going Domestic for a day – Strawberry,Cherry,Chocolate heaven

So it happens to be one of our close friends b’day today… and I decided to make a cake. A Strawberry jam, Whipped Cream sandwiched, Cherry chocolate ganache coated cake. First attempt at this combo so it was trial and error.

Started off with the basics. The base. Dark chocolate cake. Butter,Sugar,Eggs,flour and Chocolate powder. I’m generally a Kandos Choc powder stalwart, but since of late have discovered that Motha infact gives a better flavour and a way better colour to the cake.

After all the mixing,beating and folding were done,the cake or batter rather was ready to be popped into a 140 centigrade pre-heated oven for 45-50 minutes.

Approximately and hour later, voila! The cake.

I let it cool over night. The next step was to slice it length wise in half to sandwich it with strawberry jam and a generous layer of whipped cream. Anchor whipped cream is my personal choice. Easy to manage when sandwiching. I suck at slicing cake in half. I almost never get it sliced equally… but the gods were on my side today! Sliced and sandwiched it was ready to go in the fridge for a few mintues.

Next it was time for the chocolate ganache. My recipe for ganache is 350g of cooking chocolate, 250ml of anchor whipped cream, 2tbsp of Sugar and 2 tbsp of unslated butter. Bringing the cream, butter and sugar to a boil, next would be for the chocolate to go in. Boy that melting experience is literally mouth watering! I love watching the immaculate cream turning a mud brown!

After that was done, it was time to pour the ganache over my cake. I admit, this was the step that had me bothered a bit. I kept envisaging a pool of chocolate dripping all over the place and not setting! But like I said, the gods were in favour of me

I slipped in 4 strips of oil paper beneath the cake before placing one half on the tray. If not when this happened (look below) wiping the tray clean would have been a nightmare!

It took about 10 minutes in total for the chocolate to lazily drip its way over the cake and settle. Setting in the process. I let it sit still for about 10 minutes, checked for consistency and then popped the cake back in the fridge oil paper and all, for fear of the whipped cream sandwiched inside melting and making a mess of things.

Another 10 minutes later, it was time to decorate. Topped off the cake with glazed cherries. None of the supermarkets here had the proper tinned black cherry so I had to make do with the glazed.

Bear in mind that this is a refrigerated cake so leaving it out for too lengthy a period would be detrimental. Popped the decorated cake back in the fridge, and half an hour later came back to gently pull out the strips of oil paper from beneath. It helps to take a small knife and gently loosen the cold ganache that has dripped onto the paper before prising it away from the cake.

End result…..

Another variation to this cake would be to use tinned cherries inside instead of strawberry jam, and to top it off on top with tinned cherries as well. You can also do this same recipe with ordinary butter cake, substituting the cherries for fruit cocktail and whipped cream.

Bon apetit!

2 birthday’s and a funeral

Today happens to be our office helpers b’day. He’s the guy we run to when we need stacks of photo copyng done or when we run out of stationery. Generally it’s a practice in office that a cake is bought and a bit of a fuss made over the bday person. This includes everyone from the most senior of managers to the office helper. However, we’ve been trying to cut this cake since 10am. Generally for one of our b’days cutting it is a breeze and everyone’s around to celebrate and be a part of the do. Today, it’s been a night mare and I could see the glint of happiness in his eyes when the cake was brought in. Nevertheless, it can’t be much fun to have a cake and not have anyone around to bother enough to rally the crowd and cut it! Everyone seemed to have something more important to do, an important meeting to attend or some email that just couldnt wait 5 minutes. And there in the midst of us all, was that gaping humongous cake just sitting there like a lost puppy sans an owner. Anyhow, we did eventually cut the cake and it was delish. The b’day boy was as happy as a lark! Nevertheless, I think we could’ve shown a bit more enthusiasm for his b’day.

This weekend is going to be an interesting one. Planning another b’day party with a bunch of friends. This time around the theme’s going to be ‘Kindergarten’ The b’day boy turns the big 30 and we’re all dressing up like 3 yearolds. Thank goodness it’s just the bunch of us with no kids around or we might have caused some serious damage to them infants!

On a sadder note, a friend’s grandmother passed away today after a long battle with cancer. They knew this was coming, but I guess nothing prepares you for the loss. That’s just life.

The weekend

Sometimes she wished she could read his mind…

Then again, at times she wished she didn’t know anything.

Didn’t notice anything.

He had his go.

The clock ticked past him.

Now all he can evoke of her, is a wistful smile.

****

Can I have an affair please? He asks

Depends with whom you intend on having it with – she says, jokingly

I think he doesn’t know himself, there are many! quips a third voice.

****

“Have a little more and you won’t feel your head”

Words that light up her screen.

“Halfway there!” she replies

30 minutes pass as she lays her throbbing head on the pillow

“Where is she?” he asks her friend

“On a call” she replies

“Personal or official?” he asks nonchalantly a while later.

She wills herself to wake up and come down the spiral staircase

“Do you still have it” her screen lights up again just as she sits down

“Yup” she says, ending conversation right there.

She lifts her head in his direction and catches him watching her.

Once.

Twice.

They both look away immediately.

Conversation goes on.

Vanilla and Chocolate

Two of my friends will be tying the knot this November. Nothing surprising, people do get married, weddings do take place. However, my friends concerned don’t have things all that easy. Things never are when you come from two culturally and religiously different backgrounds. Inter-racial, inter-religious unions are still considered against the cultural norm in Sri Lanka. Nothing’s been written down in legislation, it’s all a matter of the fundamental right of free will. Nevertheless, things are not all sunshine and roses for them. The guy is a Kandyan Buddhist and the girl a Muslim. Needless to say all havoc broke lose on either sides when the two of them expressed their intent to get married. From virtual threats of disownment, guilt trips and religious black mail, you name it, they’ve been through it. The good news though is that the two are still together, very much in love and the big day is all set and planned for.

Talking to my Muslim friend and knowing the extent to which we had to cautiously plan her wedding, I could only relate to the mental agony they probably go through day in and day out. With her parents refusing to give their consent and threatening to sabotage the wedding, we even made plans to help her escape if the inevitable happened. Wedding sarees were carefully stashed at my place, shopping was done under the pretext of something or the other, venues being booked and kept under wraps…the works.

What is this negative infatuation we have with mixed marriages? Are people of different religions and cultures any less human? Are they not the same as any one of us, just with a different skin colour and different value systems/ traditions? I personally feel that the generation before us are hypocritical. I say so because mind sets are closed and narrow, words of everyone being ‘equal’ and ‘one’ remain just that, words, never put into action. The scriptures and holy teachings tell us that god created man to his likeness and that we all are equal to each other. Then why do these very same people contradict the teachings that they put faith in? Most often than not, it is driven by society. What will our relations think? It is a disgrace to the family! People will talk! are often the primary reasons behind this. Makes you wonder through which window the essence of family and togetherness went doesn’t it? Two people wanting to be together and spend their lives together should be the important factor for consideration. Not the colour of their skin or the surname that a child will carry.

People will always talk, there’s nothing we can do about it. Relatives will wag their tongues for a week the most, it then becomes a residual memory once the excitement has died down. It’s sad that parents often lose focus (with exceptions) that their children’s happiness should be considered prior to being politically correct and socially acceptable. I personally believe that one of the main paths to solving the ethnic conflict in Sri Lanka is through inter-racial and inter-religious marriages. Issues on children, birth certificates, school entrance etc are but superficial matters that can be solved. Here’s hoping for the best for all of us. As a country and as a nation.

Work-scapades

I hate pulling people up, for anything. Yes, I’m generally known to be the straightforward sort, but I’m not the kind who takes pleasure in giving people a hard time. There’s this guy who reports to me, he’s new, an executive, a university undergrad and presented himself at the interview quite well. Somehow, since of late he’s been playing hooky at work. The job he’s been given requires a bit of travelling and field work, therefore integrity becomes crucial amongst the team. Having briefed the new recruits on what is expected of them from a work point of view, I did my usual checking up on them prior to handing them over to two other senior guys for further training. There’s a significant amount they have to learn out there and what better option than to send them with the experienced lot, expecting the seniors to be able to handle/control the newbies. Dead wrong I was!

 

One day Newbie guy 1 turns up half an hour late to work. Senior guy ignores. Day 2 – one hour late. Senior guy calls and he replies saying he’s around the corner. The hour long delays continue for a good week before senior guy decides to tell me, again just as a by the way factor. Needless to say I hit the ceiling.I in turn have a boss who expects daily feedback on them…and here I was happily oblivious to the entire scenario. Instance 3 – which incidentally happened to be today, senior guy calls me for some other work and upon asking him if the late newbie had turned up for work yet (it was 9.30am) he promptly says “Ah no…he hasn’t come as yet” That was it, I called up late newbie and ask him where he was and he very happily, almost nonchalantly tells me “Oh I’ll be getting a bit late today Cadence” and trails off guiltily with excuse after excuse.  ”How late?” I ask  he says “oh about two to three hours” !!!!!!!!???@@@@@ My mind was reeling at that moment coz my boss wanted some work done by the new guys and here I had one of them missing in action.

 

I counted to  5  10, and told him very politely and diplomatically that I needed to meet him within the day. When he asked on what I told him the truth that it was on his attendance and attitude towards work. All in all, he was told very nicely that he better buck up and take responsibility of his actions and report to work on time (C’mon man it’s one of the cardinal rules in the corporate world – report to work at 9am sharp!) or disciplinary action would be taken. Newbie took it well and apologised, promising that it would be the last time. I was happy with that. I hated doing what I had to do, but I guess it comes with the territory. My boss gleefully waved at me, knowing very well what I was in the midst of and devilishly asks me later on ” So how was it? Did u chomp down on him for his behaviour?” – albeit in colloquial Singhalese.

 

I told him to bugger off. Meh. I don’t need these shenanigans for the love of all things holy. Atleast the guy was spared the public humiliation had my boss decided to take matters to hand.

 

I was immediately reminded of what a male friend of mine publicly stated “Women don’t know shit” I wish he’d been there to see this entire escapade.

 

Fudgebucket.

In my head

Two songs I can’t seem to get out of my head the past couple of weeks.

The book of love – Peter Gabriel

Buy me a rose – Kenny Rogers